Moments prior to beginning the writing of this NFL playoff themed blog, I had this mindset that, with a 2-6 record and being mathematically resigned to a losing record this year, I should root against my own picks. The idea was that if I am going to do bad that I want to be awful.
Luckily, I am an expert at spotting ‘loser talk’….and the above is definitely loser talk. About 5 years ago, Tim and I came up with a simple question we would ask ourselves whenever we had to make an important decision on how we would proceed with our lives. (Should I get Panda Express or Subway? Should I stay up until 2:00 a.m. to watch BMW or should I get some sleep? Should I get intoxicated or study for this test?) The question was W.W.D.D.: What Would Dickau Do? It should not be very surprising that, when you trying to make a decision using the perspective of the most phenomenal human being in the history of the world, the correct choice becomes crystal clear.
So, W.W.D.D? He’d realize that the entire point of the NFL playoff picks competition isn’t to win money or go undefeated. The entire point is to humiliate Tim for yet another season. He’d remember that he is tied with an identical 2-6 record and that several of his picks the past few weeks have not necessarily been strong preferences for a particular team but rather attempts to block Tim from gaining a lead on a game he wasn’t certain about. He’d remember that the single most important characteristic required for victory in sports-related events is not talent or resources, but rather ‘heart’. He’d make his next picks and watch them all hit. Instead of making a big production about his win, he’d walk off acting like he intentionally made horrible picks the first few weeks just to give the other party a false sense of hope. Finally, he’d proceed to make out with some hot chick, but I guess that’s where I have to accept that I will never truly be Dickau-like.
Anyways, time for the picks.
Chargers +14.5 v Patriots
I refuse to believe that the Patriots are this good. In fact, I’m going to disregard their undefeated record, their coach who has won 3 Super Bowls, and their quarterback who apparently put forth the greatest quarterbacking season in the history of the NFL and start a ‘over.rated clap clap clapclapclap’ chant.
Packers -6.5 v Giants
I’d first like to congratulate Eli Manning on joining Jake Delhomme and the Elon men’s college basketball team as the most impossible sports icons for me to handicap. After last week’s loss, I realized that I don’t think I’ve ever handicapped a Manning led Giants playoff game correctly. For these three combined, I think I’m, at best, 1-17. It’s astonishing. Despite that, I’d rather lose this competition than talk myself into believing Eli can win three straight road playoff games. If this happens, everything I’ve based my life on has been wrong. So, at least I’ll realize that now before it’s too late.
By the way, Dickau’s answers to the questions above would be: ‘Subway b/c it’s closer’, ’Obviously BMW’, and ‘walk into the test intoxicated, dominate it, and walk out knowing that you’d ace it’.
Go Zags!
Luckily, I am an expert at spotting ‘loser talk’….and the above is definitely loser talk. About 5 years ago, Tim and I came up with a simple question we would ask ourselves whenever we had to make an important decision on how we would proceed with our lives. (Should I get Panda Express or Subway? Should I stay up until 2:00 a.m. to watch BMW or should I get some sleep? Should I get intoxicated or study for this test?) The question was W.W.D.D.: What Would Dickau Do? It should not be very surprising that, when you trying to make a decision using the perspective of the most phenomenal human being in the history of the world, the correct choice becomes crystal clear.
So, W.W.D.D? He’d realize that the entire point of the NFL playoff picks competition isn’t to win money or go undefeated. The entire point is to humiliate Tim for yet another season. He’d remember that he is tied with an identical 2-6 record and that several of his picks the past few weeks have not necessarily been strong preferences for a particular team but rather attempts to block Tim from gaining a lead on a game he wasn’t certain about. He’d remember that the single most important characteristic required for victory in sports-related events is not talent or resources, but rather ‘heart’. He’d make his next picks and watch them all hit. Instead of making a big production about his win, he’d walk off acting like he intentionally made horrible picks the first few weeks just to give the other party a false sense of hope. Finally, he’d proceed to make out with some hot chick, but I guess that’s where I have to accept that I will never truly be Dickau-like.
Anyways, time for the picks.
Chargers +14.5 v Patriots
I refuse to believe that the Patriots are this good. In fact, I’m going to disregard their undefeated record, their coach who has won 3 Super Bowls, and their quarterback who apparently put forth the greatest quarterbacking season in the history of the NFL and start a ‘over.rated clap clap clapclapclap’ chant.
Packers -6.5 v Giants
I’d first like to congratulate Eli Manning on joining Jake Delhomme and the Elon men’s college basketball team as the most impossible sports icons for me to handicap. After last week’s loss, I realized that I don’t think I’ve ever handicapped a Manning led Giants playoff game correctly. For these three combined, I think I’m, at best, 1-17. It’s astonishing. Despite that, I’d rather lose this competition than talk myself into believing Eli can win three straight road playoff games. If this happens, everything I’ve based my life on has been wrong. So, at least I’ll realize that now before it’s too late.
By the way, Dickau’s answers to the questions above would be: ‘Subway b/c it’s closer’, ’Obviously BMW’, and ‘walk into the test intoxicated, dominate it, and walk out knowing that you’d ace it’.
Go Zags!
2 comments:
I'm down for a dime, baby!
So... When do we get Super Bowl picks?
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