I would just like to state for the record that having friends with a medical background in an environment where one is more prone to various diseases and illnesses is one of the greatest unexpectd perks since moving to Zambia. For the record, I do not say this necessarily because I’ve actually contracted any of these various diseases and needed their assistance. Actually, it’s been the complete opposite. I’ve been healthier since I’ve moved out here than in the year preceeding my arrival. I haven’t even had any noteworthy GI problems. This is kind of surprising because I’ve started turning to street vendors and shady grocery stores to supplement my diet more and more frequently. So, I’m actually getting nervous I’m too healthy. I keep on waiting for that random day when I wake up and realize I have ebola. I’m not going to lie. That’s not going to be cool.
Anyways, the fun part about having friends with a medical focus is that it’s very easy to get them riled up. Among the self-diagnoses I’ve proposed to them includes diabetes and osteoporosis as a result of an increase consumption of soda (real diagnosis: shoulder pains caused by stress), scabies as evidenced by small red itchy dots on my hand (real diagnosis: microcuts from grinding metal bottle caps deep into my palms) and my personal favorite of tuberculosis (real diagnosis: a cough). It’s always fun to have them give real explanations as to why I don’t have these diseases and yet still insist that I am right and they are wrong.
Anyways, the fun part about having friends with a medical focus is that it’s very easy to get them riled up. Among the self-diagnoses I’ve proposed to them includes diabetes and osteoporosis as a result of an increase consumption of soda (real diagnosis: shoulder pains caused by stress), scabies as evidenced by small red itchy dots on my hand (real diagnosis: microcuts from grinding metal bottle caps deep into my palms) and my personal favorite of tuberculosis (real diagnosis: a cough). It’s always fun to have them give real explanations as to why I don’t have these diseases and yet still insist that I am right and they are wrong.
The other real fun thing about doctor friends is saying things like “My job results in me saving hundreds of thousands of lives. I can’t imagine something as unfufilling as only saving about 100 lives a year.” or “is it difficult to sleep at night knowing that your contribution to society is meaningless in comparison to what I do every single day”. They LOVE these statements, especially when they start to realize they are true.
So, yeah, the only major health scares I’ve had are the result of being lazy (not exercising) and stupid (who would have thought that grinding a bottle cap into my hand would be a bad idea).
Who would have thought?
Who would have thought?
No comments:
Post a Comment