During the last season of Boy Meets World, there is an episode where Corey and Topenga go to an exotic location for their honeymoon. About 10 minutes into the episode, Corey giddily explains to Topenga that the PA announcer will make any announcement you request. Moments later, we hear “Doctor Pudding. Paging Doctor Chocolate Pudding.”
So, how could this possibly relate to anything that’s gone on in Zambia? Honestly, it doesn’t. I just think the line is hilarious and I thought it would be an excellent introduction to the random thoughts which will highlight this blog.
A few updates before I launch into a college basketball discussion.
Just ignore the note Lindsey put at the end of the last posting. It was completely her fault. At least, that’s how I remember it.
The power situation in Zambia is absolutely fascinating. There is a mini power crisis throughout all of Southern Africa. Electricity is in limited supply and the primary goal is to maintain power to the copper mining industry. The situation in Zambia isn’t as critical as it appears to be in, say, South Africa but we were having rolling blackouts throughout February. They have essentially ended, but the power situation at the place where I work has still not been resolved. About 60% of the time, I will arrive at the office and power will be out. We normally have to sit around for an hour or so and it will eventually go back on. It was great the first day because it was like having a snow day in high school. It was a great excuse to not do work. At this point, though, it’s just getting lame.
I’m not going to lie. This past week could have gone a little bit better. Around 3:30 a.m. Monday morning, Gonzaga was scheduled to be on international television for the first time all season. Before I knew they were going to be on the television, though, I had agreed to housesit for a couple who was returning to the States for week. Lamely, they don’t have satellite television. Refusing to let anything keep me from watching a GU game, I spent the entire week leading up to the game coming up with a game plan. I decided that I would ‘sleep’ at their house and then drive back to my house moments prior to game time. I went to the grocery store on Sunday evening and stocked up on every type of junk food imaginable: sodas, assorted chips, and assorted candy. I learned how to send international text messages. I forewarned the guard that I was going to leaving early in the morning and amazingly fell asleep around 9:45 p.m. The alarm went off at 2:50 a.m., threw on some clothes, grabbed all of the junk food and headed back to my place.
So, my original plan preceding the game was document my thoughts minute by minute in an effort to provide a running diary of this unique African experience, Bill Simmons-style. Considering though, that they looked absolutely awful on Monday morning and lost on Tuesday morning (which I also woke up at 3 a.m. to watch), I figured I’d look like an ass posting an entire blog with thoughts like “Another missed shot by Downs. We look worse than “ and “I wish Micah Downs was hit by a bus.” Still, there were a few thoughts from the game that need to be discussed.
It’s official. My hatred for Stephen Bardo as an announcer is not confided to the United States. I despise him from Africa just as much as I did back home. He’s absolutely wretched. He adds nothing insightful, he uses lame clichés, and he’s usually wrong about any point he tries to argue. For some reason, ESPN has made the inexplicable decision to let him announce the obscure West Coast games for two years in a row. If anyone wants to start a ‘Rehire Jimmy Dykes’ campaign, I’m in for $100 and can easily be convinced to donate more. I only had to watch two games and that was pure torture. . In hindsight, realizing he was announcing the game should have lowered my expectations for the GU game.
The West Coast Conference Tournament is moving to Las Vegas next year. After hearing that news, I tried to come up with great moments in history that resulted in the synthesis of two things I loved into one. The only thing that immediately came to mind was: Amanda Bynes and Jennie Garth on WILAY. I’ll have to brainstorm for some other great life combinations. If the thought of Stephen Bardo announcing college basketball games makes it easier to stay in Zambia, the WCC tourney in LV makes it equally harder to stay.
This is an excellent opportunity to give a snack review. We have Ruffles chips here, but they aren’t called Ruflles; they are called Simba chips. My guess is that they were first introduced to South Africa around the time ‘The Lion King’ debuted and they just ran with it. I tried the Sour Cream & Onion and they actually were pretty good. The Doritos, on the other hand, were absolutely wretched. In the States, they have all types of Doritos: Nacho, Cool Ranch, Tacoooo, etc. In Zambia, they also have all different variations. The only difference is that the flavors in the States taste good. The only American kind is Nacho. The rest are obscure combinations like Bacon, Poppy Seed & Tomato, etc.; all of which taste horrible. I also learned that it’s probably not a good idea to drink a ton of soda and eat a ton of junk food at 3 am in the morning when you have just woken up and are still tired.
So, Gonzaga looked awful for both games. I just hope that it wasn’t enough to deter everyone from continuing the annual tradition of ‘Picking GU to go really far in the tournament and then blaming me for ruining their bracket when they lose.” I used to always love this. I spend months putting my heart and soul into a team only to see their season end much too early. Moments after the game ends, some moron think it’s a great time to get in contact with me to let me know they are officially eliminated from their pool they never had a chance of winning. Thanks dood. I appreciate the update.
Okay, a few final notes.
Today is Selection Sunday. When I was a young kid, I used to love this day. I’d sit in front of the television with a notebook open and scribble down the teams and their corresponding seeds as they were announced. As I got older, I got sick of all of listening to all of these poser fans talk about their brackets and how much they loved the NCAA tournament even though they hadn’t watched a game all season. I figured I needed a way to distinguish myself as a real fan and started arguing that the best part of March was conference tournament week (this is a valid argument by the way) and maintained that a true basketball fan filled out an NIT bracket. For about three years, Tim and I actually had a NIT competition. This worked great until last season, when they felt compelled to make dramatic changes to the NIT; fewer teams, a selection committee, seeding, structure, the higher seed always playing at home, etc. It was absolute garbage. This is a sports travesty rivaled only by Andre Iguodala getting screwed in the dunk contest against Nate Robinson (he missed 20 times on the same dunk and still won?) and Eric being picked over Brad to represent the men’s team in the Real World/Road Rules: Battle of the Sexes II because Eric, Mark, and Dan had a secret alliance. It was a great tournament and they managed to ruin it.
So, for the upcoming tournament, I am putting my lifelong quest of making the NIT bracket a mainstream practice on hiatus until I feel comfortable that it’s good again. In its place, though, I’ve decided to run a bracket challenge with an even more obscure sporting event: the WOMEN’S NIT. I can not think of a more worthless and a less compelling idea than holding a tournament to decide who is the 65th best women’s team. For that reason, I think it’s an absolutely fantastic idea to get everyone I know to predict who they think will win these worthless games.
Here’s what I am proposing. This year, I will run a Women’s NIT Bracket challenge in a similar fashion to a men’s NCAA tournament bracket. When I figure out the brackets Monday morning, I will send copies of them to everyone who expresses interest. Everyone who participates will be responsible for sending a copy of their picks to me prior to the beginning of the first game. Scoring will be in a similar fashion to the NCAA tournament. Since I am working in a foreign country with laws I am unfamiliar with, the running of office pools is a grey area, and I imagine it will be difficult to convince a lot of people to put money into a women’s nit pool, I have decide that I will be fronting the entire prize pool for this competition. Let’s say that 1st place will be 200,000 kwacha ($50 US) (I’ll have my brother mail a check to the winner). If we get more than 20 people to join, I’ll bump it up to $100 US. Please note that I want everyone to join, even if you have no clue about women’s basketball (and if you are my friend, you won’t). What do you have to lose? It’s a chance at $50.
So, please, if you are interested in joining a women’s NIT bracket challenge, post a message on the message board or send me an e-mail. Tell your friends. Anyone and everyone is invited.
So, how could this possibly relate to anything that’s gone on in Zambia? Honestly, it doesn’t. I just think the line is hilarious and I thought it would be an excellent introduction to the random thoughts which will highlight this blog.
A few updates before I launch into a college basketball discussion.
Just ignore the note Lindsey put at the end of the last posting. It was completely her fault. At least, that’s how I remember it.
The power situation in Zambia is absolutely fascinating. There is a mini power crisis throughout all of Southern Africa. Electricity is in limited supply and the primary goal is to maintain power to the copper mining industry. The situation in Zambia isn’t as critical as it appears to be in, say, South Africa but we were having rolling blackouts throughout February. They have essentially ended, but the power situation at the place where I work has still not been resolved. About 60% of the time, I will arrive at the office and power will be out. We normally have to sit around for an hour or so and it will eventually go back on. It was great the first day because it was like having a snow day in high school. It was a great excuse to not do work. At this point, though, it’s just getting lame.
I’m not going to lie. This past week could have gone a little bit better. Around 3:30 a.m. Monday morning, Gonzaga was scheduled to be on international television for the first time all season. Before I knew they were going to be on the television, though, I had agreed to housesit for a couple who was returning to the States for week. Lamely, they don’t have satellite television. Refusing to let anything keep me from watching a GU game, I spent the entire week leading up to the game coming up with a game plan. I decided that I would ‘sleep’ at their house and then drive back to my house moments prior to game time. I went to the grocery store on Sunday evening and stocked up on every type of junk food imaginable: sodas, assorted chips, and assorted candy. I learned how to send international text messages. I forewarned the guard that I was going to leaving early in the morning and amazingly fell asleep around 9:45 p.m. The alarm went off at 2:50 a.m., threw on some clothes, grabbed all of the junk food and headed back to my place.
So, my original plan preceding the game was document my thoughts minute by minute in an effort to provide a running diary of this unique African experience, Bill Simmons-style. Considering though, that they looked absolutely awful on Monday morning and lost on Tuesday morning (which I also woke up at 3 a.m. to watch), I figured I’d look like an ass posting an entire blog with thoughts like “Another missed shot by Downs. We look worse than “ and “I wish Micah Downs was hit by a bus.” Still, there were a few thoughts from the game that need to be discussed.
It’s official. My hatred for Stephen Bardo as an announcer is not confided to the United States. I despise him from Africa just as much as I did back home. He’s absolutely wretched. He adds nothing insightful, he uses lame clichés, and he’s usually wrong about any point he tries to argue. For some reason, ESPN has made the inexplicable decision to let him announce the obscure West Coast games for two years in a row. If anyone wants to start a ‘Rehire Jimmy Dykes’ campaign, I’m in for $100 and can easily be convinced to donate more. I only had to watch two games and that was pure torture. . In hindsight, realizing he was announcing the game should have lowered my expectations for the GU game.
The West Coast Conference Tournament is moving to Las Vegas next year. After hearing that news, I tried to come up with great moments in history that resulted in the synthesis of two things I loved into one. The only thing that immediately came to mind was: Amanda Bynes and Jennie Garth on WILAY. I’ll have to brainstorm for some other great life combinations. If the thought of Stephen Bardo announcing college basketball games makes it easier to stay in Zambia, the WCC tourney in LV makes it equally harder to stay.
This is an excellent opportunity to give a snack review. We have Ruffles chips here, but they aren’t called Ruflles; they are called Simba chips. My guess is that they were first introduced to South Africa around the time ‘The Lion King’ debuted and they just ran with it. I tried the Sour Cream & Onion and they actually were pretty good. The Doritos, on the other hand, were absolutely wretched. In the States, they have all types of Doritos: Nacho, Cool Ranch, Tacoooo, etc. In Zambia, they also have all different variations. The only difference is that the flavors in the States taste good. The only American kind is Nacho. The rest are obscure combinations like Bacon, Poppy Seed & Tomato, etc.; all of which taste horrible. I also learned that it’s probably not a good idea to drink a ton of soda and eat a ton of junk food at 3 am in the morning when you have just woken up and are still tired.
So, Gonzaga looked awful for both games. I just hope that it wasn’t enough to deter everyone from continuing the annual tradition of ‘Picking GU to go really far in the tournament and then blaming me for ruining their bracket when they lose.” I used to always love this. I spend months putting my heart and soul into a team only to see their season end much too early. Moments after the game ends, some moron think it’s a great time to get in contact with me to let me know they are officially eliminated from their pool they never had a chance of winning. Thanks dood. I appreciate the update.
Okay, a few final notes.
Today is Selection Sunday. When I was a young kid, I used to love this day. I’d sit in front of the television with a notebook open and scribble down the teams and their corresponding seeds as they were announced. As I got older, I got sick of all of listening to all of these poser fans talk about their brackets and how much they loved the NCAA tournament even though they hadn’t watched a game all season. I figured I needed a way to distinguish myself as a real fan and started arguing that the best part of March was conference tournament week (this is a valid argument by the way) and maintained that a true basketball fan filled out an NIT bracket. For about three years, Tim and I actually had a NIT competition. This worked great until last season, when they felt compelled to make dramatic changes to the NIT; fewer teams, a selection committee, seeding, structure, the higher seed always playing at home, etc. It was absolute garbage. This is a sports travesty rivaled only by Andre Iguodala getting screwed in the dunk contest against Nate Robinson (he missed 20 times on the same dunk and still won?) and Eric being picked over Brad to represent the men’s team in the Real World/Road Rules: Battle of the Sexes II because Eric, Mark, and Dan had a secret alliance. It was a great tournament and they managed to ruin it.
So, for the upcoming tournament, I am putting my lifelong quest of making the NIT bracket a mainstream practice on hiatus until I feel comfortable that it’s good again. In its place, though, I’ve decided to run a bracket challenge with an even more obscure sporting event: the WOMEN’S NIT. I can not think of a more worthless and a less compelling idea than holding a tournament to decide who is the 65th best women’s team. For that reason, I think it’s an absolutely fantastic idea to get everyone I know to predict who they think will win these worthless games.
Here’s what I am proposing. This year, I will run a Women’s NIT Bracket challenge in a similar fashion to a men’s NCAA tournament bracket. When I figure out the brackets Monday morning, I will send copies of them to everyone who expresses interest. Everyone who participates will be responsible for sending a copy of their picks to me prior to the beginning of the first game. Scoring will be in a similar fashion to the NCAA tournament. Since I am working in a foreign country with laws I am unfamiliar with, the running of office pools is a grey area, and I imagine it will be difficult to convince a lot of people to put money into a women’s nit pool, I have decide that I will be fronting the entire prize pool for this competition. Let’s say that 1st place will be 200,000 kwacha ($50 US) (I’ll have my brother mail a check to the winner). If we get more than 20 people to join, I’ll bump it up to $100 US. Please note that I want everyone to join, even if you have no clue about women’s basketball (and if you are my friend, you won’t). What do you have to lose? It’s a chance at $50.
So, please, if you are interested in joining a women’s NIT bracket challenge, post a message on the message board or send me an e-mail. Tell your friends. Anyone and everyone is invited.
Okay, I’m officially excited. I love March. Here’s a few links to youtube videos to remind you why college basketball is so great.
I went to this game. It was probably the greatest sporting moment I’ll ever have in my life. Go Zags!
Eric Maynor from 2007 NCAA Tournament. Go home Duke.
An article by Pat Forde about an Eastern Kentucky basketball player. It was written in 2005, but I read it every March. This is why I love college basketball.
2 comments:
I don't know which is more exciting, the first annual WNIT bracket challenge or the WCC tourney in Vegas. You need to cure AIDS by February so we can go to Vegas next March. While we're there we can plant some weed on Micah Downs to ensure Gonzaga finally has a deep tourney run.
Ahem...I believe the conversation about the trip to Spokane went something like:
Me: "I was thinking we could spend the night in Spokane on Friday so we don't have drive 10 hours in one day"
Mark: "No. I don't want to drive the Pass while it is dark and rainy. I did that when I moved to Seattle and it traumatized me"
Me: "Okay. Than how about we spend the night on Saturday"
Mark: "No. I don't want to drive the Pass while it is dark and rainy."
Me: "But if we spend the night on Saturday we can drive back to Seattle on Sunday during the day. It wont be dark."
Mark: "No. I don't want to drive the Pass while it is dark and rainy."
Me: "Okay. Fine. We'll drive to Spokane on Saturday morning, watch the game and drive home Saturday night...when it is going to be dark and most likely rainy."
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