Newly Buttoned Shirts

A few months ago, I posted a blog concerning the maid who cleans my apartment titled “The Sunlight Has Finished.” When I had that exchange with her, I just assumed it would be the most bizarre interaction/exchange I would ever have with her. I couldn’t have been more wrong. She has taken her game to a whole new level. She’s gone from writing ambiguous notes to just completely messing with my head. I’m not going to lie…I love it.

Three weeks ago this coming Tuesday, I arrive at my house and see all of my cleaned and ironed laundry draped over the kitchen chairs. I do what any good roommate would do and leave it there. The following Monday night, knowing that she is returning and not wanting to confuse her, I grab all of the clothes and take them to my room. I mindlessly start hanging the shirts, one by one, until I arrive at one particular white shirt with blue and yellow stripes. As I’m putting it on the hanger, I can’t help but notice a dark discoloration in the middle of the shirt. I look closer and notice that it’s a black button. This is particularly strange because I’m pretty sure the buttons should be white. I looked at a few of the other buttons. Clear white.

Okay, maybe she accidentally knocked off the button, lost it, and did her best to remedy the situation by sewing a different button on. WRONG. I investigate the shirt even closer, only to notice that the two smaller buttons for the collar are black. I check the sleeves. On the right arm, 3 black buttons. On the left arm, all original clear buttons. In total, SIX buttons have been replaced.

Here’s the thing. I have absolutely no idea what happened. I can pretty much guarantee I wasn’t the person who sewed on the black buttons (Let’s be honest. When you are as phenomenal as me, you don’t waste your time with menial tasks like sewing.) I had just warn the shirt earlier in the week and I’m fairly confident I would remember being sans 6 buttons. It had to be her who orchestrated the button switching.

But why?

Why replace those buttons? Did she truly want my buttons or did she just accidentally break the other six? Why take just six of them? Where did she get the six replacement buttons? Where do rainbows come from? Does she carry buttons, string, and needles with her? Was this a plan she plotted for weeks and finally executed at what she felt was the most opportune moment? Did she think I wouldn’t notice that I now I had a multi-buttoned shirt?

This is the most baffling, entertaining situation I’ve been presented with in Zambia. Honestly, I’m not even upset. The shirt was at best a #8 or #9 ranked shirt. It’s completely expendable. I actually have hidden the shirt during her subsequent return visits. I just imagine that the button switching was a multi-week plan and that she was going to take the rest the following week. I want to be able to show everyone the shirt. I’m still not sure if I want to confront her. I almost don’t want to knoe the truth; the reasons I come up with are far more entertaining.